2012 started for me with lots of questions. I wasn't blogging at the beginning of last year, and I wasn't going to choose a one word. I have the kind of personality that if everybody is doing something, I tend to not do it. I've never been trendy. And I like to make specific new years resolutions. Some I keep, some I don't (some are too ambitious for the stage my family is at) and I am okay with that. But one word kept whispering at me in my mind over the first few weeks, then the first few months of 2012 and so it became my word whether I was planning it or not. 2012 became my year of present.
(Artwork by Katie Daisy available at her etsy store. A favourite sample from my present pinterest board.)
So I hugged and kissed my kiddos, I swam in the pool, I nursed my last baby and I swung under the stars and I tried to really be in the moment even when things felt overwhelming. I had dates with Aaron, we listened to each other, he rubbed my feet and we swung under the stars too. I went swimming and skiing and running. I grew a garden. I talked with kindred spirits and read books and made things and started this blog. Trying to appreciate just what I was doing at the time.
Present had a dual meaning for me from the beginning; to be more present myself yes, try to avoid being over cerebral and just dwelling instead in the joy of life. But also the idea of a gift, a present. I felt God holding 2012 out to me, not like something to be conquered or overdone but just to be unwrapped, discovered, enjoyed.
Near the end, I started to rediscover the present of God's presence. Perhaps the most soul healing part of 2012 for me after a few years of faith changes. In 2013 I will continue to seek that out the presence. And I will carry forward being present, while moving forward and drawing in something else as well.