It turned out to be a hard week to write about hope. This week my little view of the world seemed to have more than it's share of loss, mourning, injustice, hardship, sadness, sickness. When I think about what I hope for it's this: wholeness for people and planet. Kingdom come. I think this is why Barbara Kingsolver says the most you can do with your life when you have figured out what you hope for is to live inside that hope. 'Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under it's roof.'

How many of us have the gumption, the strength in spirit really to do that - to say 'I hope for goodness, wholeness, light and well being and most of all I hope for love' and stay there living with it in a week like this one. In a world like this one.

When I was depressed I couldn't. The mind lies to you and says there is no hope, there is only more drudgery. There is only more getting through, there is only more of this. There might only be more darkness.

I'm still learning this the thirties are more than tired - they can be a breeding ground for mental illness.

I'll end with this: I believe in Jesus but sometimes I feel like I can't see. So I look for the light he brings instead. I see it in money raised for a new widow. I see it in people speaking up and demonstrating about oppression. I see it in meals cooked and kids looked after and 'how are you doing' texts sent with some chocolate on the side. I see it in fair trade Christmas gifts and spending time with family who are hard to love and cups of tea shared with friends. I see it in parents who work hard at jobs they wish they didn't have to go to. I see it in diapers changed and toddlers consoled and books read. I see it in prayers prayed and love sent. I see it when I look in your eyes.